Our Fifth Soulmate Ceremony!

Tory and Luke celebrated their love
in a soulmate ceremony on February 17, 2008,
pledging their hearts to one another before all their friends.

For all posterity those vows are inscribed herein:

My friends and comrades,

We are gathered together today to witness the wonder of voluntary commitment:  Luke and Tory, as they are eternally joined together in soulmatedness.
The miracle today lies in the life they have chosen together.
The greater miracle will be in their promises to work the nestbox as one.

As we stand today on the warm sand and gaze out at the sea
we are reminded of the journey that awaits Luke and Tory.
Two comrades alike yet as different as any two grains of sand,
forever to ride life's constant waves,
pitching and rolling with and against one another
until they are both worn smooth and polished
(or are terribly, terribly cranky).

Luke... Tory... as you embark upon your journey
may your love continue as constant and unchanging as the tides.
May the currents of romance keep you together
and may you never be parted by an undertow.

Luke, of all the magic you have performed,
winning the heart of lovely Tory is your finest achievement
(next to bird-safe cheeseburgers and fries).

Tory, as you take your place beside Luke in the laboratory of life,
prepare to assist your soulmate in his science,
yet find ways to work your own miracles as well
(and for heaven's sake, wear safety goggles lest you blow the place up).

Luke and Tory, please come forward, face your beloved and repeat after me.

I, Luke, ask you, Tory, to be my soulmate, my friend and my love.
Today I affirm our relationship and trust
and look to the future to deepen them both.
I will be yours in pinnies and in perfect feather,
I will provide for you nesting material, pre-chewed food
and a joint checking account.
Together we will stumble through life's missions -
though hopefully not over each other's talons.
As we face the sun and begin our journey towards it,
I take seriously my duties to hold the umbrella.

I, Tory, ask you, Luke, to be my soulmate, my friend and my love.
Today I affirm our commitment and faith
and look to the future to deepen them both.
I will be yours in laughter and in tears,
I will provide you with warmth, cherish your uniqueness
and stay clear of your Bunsen burner.
Together we will embrace life's challenges and each other -
but if I see you so much as glance at another lady, you're toast.
As we face life's great shopping malls,
I will not pout when you relieve me of the credit cards.

As Luke and Tory exchange leg bands as tokens of their abiding love, I believe Sweetie has a song to offer the lovely couple. Sweetie, go ahead, please.

Thank you, Sweetie!

Now, inasmuch as Luke and Tory have pledged their devotion
before each other and before their friends and comrades,
I now commit them both!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Lukie and Tory Pookie!

Our Fourth Soulmate Ceremony!

Princess Blue Bird and Skittles
were united in soulmatedness on September 29, 2007,
forever pledging their faithfulness.
Music was provided by Missy who appeared in high fidelity,
unfortunately unable to appear in person.

For those commandos who were unable to attend, the ceremony and vows were again written by Prezident Kinney herself:

A long time ago, during our very first Soulmate Ceremony,
we asked the question, "What is a Soulmate?".
Because we have so many new recruits,
I think we need to explore this question once again...
and to make sure Skittles and B.B. know what they're getting into!
So... what is a Soulmate?
A Soulmate is somebirdy you love... heart and soul... and it's that simple.
Somebirdy who knows in their heart,
No matter how far distance keeps you apart,
that under your belly feathers lies a dimple.
A mate of the soul, the spirit, and a friend for every day that passes.
A love of mind, of nuances and attractions.
Seeing nothing but the beauty of each other... even if you need glasses!
It's about sharing tears, sharing laughter, sharing dreams.
It's about honor and commitment,
Sewing a life together, stitch by stitch,
A binding in trust held by the strength of its seams.

Tonight, our very own Lt. Skittles and Lt. Princess Blue Bird
have welcomed each and every one of you to stand on this sand,
on this beach, as friends,
to share a sunset and a ceremony.

Missy couldn't be here tonight,
but asked that we play a song she taped for the happy couple.
Please everybirdy join yelkcorB in whistling or singing as you wish.
Thank you, Missy!

Princess B.B. ... please waddle forward.
May I say how ravishingly yummy that babies' breath looks on top of your head?
Please hold Skittles' tail in your beak and repeat after me:

"I, Princess Blue Bird...
Stand behind Skittles...
In everything he does.
I promise to share my warmth and my millet.
I promise to watch over him, wiggleneck only to him,
and never pass on any parasites I may contract.
I will cherish his every word...
that I may or may not understand.
I will be his heart and his soul,
the love of his life...
For as long as we both can perch side by side."

Skittles, please waddle forward.
Please hold B.B.'s tail in your beak and repeat after me:

"I, Skittles...
Stand back PBB 'cause she dos everything.
I promiscuity to shake my worms and my mullet.
I promiscuity to eyeball her, giggle only her neck,
and not no cooties, neber eber.
I will cherish her ebry blurb.
I will be her tart and her soul...
the lubs to her fight...
For as long we boff the perch next together."

By the vestibule behind me,
I now pronounce you Soulmates!
You may wiggleneck!
Troops, three cheeps for Skittles and B.B.!
Now everybirdy Long & Skinny at the dip!

Our Third Soulmate Ceremony!

Missy and Quazar were united in soulmatedness on May 5, 2007,
Missy being "fashionably late" for her own ceremony.
Missy was attended by Brockley and Aiko, who stood in for the regularly scheduled birdsmaids, Half Pint and Tory, who were unable to attend.
Preensmen for Quazar were Hunka Hunka Pepi and Sunny;
Bud and RatLer regrettably were missing.
Half Pint and "the girls" provided the lovely wedding cake and decorations for the island tree house.
Sound effects during the ceremony were simply awesome!

For those commandos who were unable to locate the Island Chapel, the ceremony and vows were written by Prezident Kinney herself:

Dearly BeFeathered and Be Not,
We are flocked here together in celebration of Missy and Quazar's love.
Finally, (and I mean FINALLY!), we are witness to the bonding, in perpetuity,
of two souls whose distance is long in miles but close in heart.
Two friends who have shared each and every morning in greeting the sun,
and every evening drawing the starlit sky to a close.
In our history there have been no two birds so faithful to each other...
and so completely oblivious to the rest of us.
With this in mind, I think I speak for all when I say,
"Get out the NESTBOX!" and let the ceremony begin!

Birdsmaids, please perch behind Missy
and watch that she doesn't chew on her lovely dress.

Preensmen, please perch behind Quazar.
Can somebirdy pick up his cucumber bun?  Thank you.

Sunny, please waddle forward.
Sunny has prepared a special surprise for Quazar and Missy.
Sunny, go ahead...

"We played togedder as brudders,
Den one day dat wasnt nuff.
And U met Missy
Ebrey since U meeted her
U spent ebery weekend going ta Canada
An dats ok an a gud thing.
Congratulations, Quazar
Welcome ta da family, Missy
Da End."

Thank you, Sunny!

Missy, please waddle forward and repeat after me:
"I, Missy,
Hold my beloved Quazar forever in my heart.
If he sleeps in, I shall wake him.
If he forgets lunch, I shall beak him.
But if he misses Louis Riel Days in Saskatoon this summer, it's OVER!"
Thank you, Missy!

Quazar, please waddle forward and repeat after me:
"I, Quazar,
Hold my beloved Missy forever in my heart.
If her school bus breaks down, I will fix it.
If she can't remember her constellations, I will teach her
But I will NEVER EVER wear a TOQUE!"
Thank you, Quazar!

Missy, Quazar, please join talons without falling over
By the Prezidential powers vested in moi,
I now pronounce you SOULMATES!
You may wiggleneck...

Troops, I announce the new couple!
Please join with me in hollering while throwing millet at the happy twosome,
"GET A NESTBOX!"
"GET A NESTBOX!"

Our First Wedding!

Though not a Soulmate Ceremony, Leta and Webster declared their love for one another and their intention to live as a family on May 7, 2006.  The wedding took place in the Commando Chapel, was attended by many commandos and was officiated by Prezident Kinney. J.P. treated the wedding party to a wonderful wedding cake and Pepi ditched the Speedo in favor of a Zedo!

For those commandos not in attendance, the couple repeated the following vows, written by Prezident Kinney:

AHEM!  Before we begin, I would like to say that everybirdy looks VERY...cough...cough...CLOTHED this evening.

Webster, are you ready to add this Appendix to your life?
Now, If we could have Sunny and Missy play a rousing,
bombastic rendition of "Here Comes The Bird"....
LETA...come out come out wherever you ARE!

My, Leta...BirdsMaids...you look...cough, cough...VERY CLOTHED this evening.
Tory, please hold this onion.  If anybirdy does NOT think this is an onion, please say so now, or forever hold your peace.

We begin!
Dearly Besotted and Bespecled, (sorry, D.Bug)
We are flocked here today to celebrate the joining of Webster and Leta
in oily macaroni, (I'm missing DINNER here)....Holy MATRIMONY!
In the weeks they have been together, Leta and Webster's love
and understanding of each other has grown and matured...leading to this
moment where their lives intertwine as Husband and Wife.

I would now like you Leta, and you, Webster to join wings as I read
this excerpt from "A Farewell to Arms" by some dude named Ernest Hemingway:
"At night, there was a feeling that we had come home,
feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other there,
and not gone away, all other things unreal.
We slept when we were tired and if we woke the other one woke too
so one was not alone.... We could feel alone when we were together,
alone against the others, we were never lonely,
and never afraid when we were together."

Leta, please turn to Webster and repeat after me...

I, Leta, take you, Webster....
To be my constant friend,
My faithful partner,
and my Reference Guide from this day forward.
I will trust you
Respect you,
and try not to push you out of the food bowl.
I will laugh at you,
Preen with you,
And share the clean end of the perch as long as we both shall love.

Webster, please turn to Leta, giving her your
token of everlasting love (that set of Olympic rings there...that's it).
Please repeat after me:

I Webster, take you Leta,
To be my constant friend,
My faithful partner,
And my protector from Micora from this day forward.
I will trust you,
Respect you,
And try not to holler while you are shopping.
I will probably NOT laugh,
since I am the serious type,
I will groom your cranial area,
And I will refrain from correcting your grammar as long as we both shall love.

Now, I believe Miss Missy has a song planned?
Missy?............ER..very nice, Missy...thank you!

Leta, Webster, I now pronounce your knot tied!!!
You may wiggleneck.
Troops, I present Mr. & Mrs. Weblet!!!!

Three cheers for the Hoppy Couple!