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CORPORAL SKITTLES
"SKITTLES SURVEYS HIS KINGDOM"
Corporal Skittles earns the honor of being named February's Commando of the Month
by best answering the question,
"What is your New Year's Resolution for 2006 - and why?""
Interviewed by his sister, Captain Micora, Skittles tells us a bit about himself:
MICORA: Skittley-poo, tell us a little about yourself . . .
SKITTLES: Pwease nok off da poo mickey ise commando ob da monf now.
MICORA: OK, Commando "ob da monf" Skittles, please tell us a little about yourself.
SKITTLES: Ise skittles.
MICORA: Uh, a little more please.
SKITTLES: Ok ise skittles n ise commando ob da monf.
MICORA: I'm beginning to think this is hopeless! When is your hatchdate? Who is your family?
SKITTLES: Yous alweady knows dat mickey.
MICORA: TELL ME ANYWAYS!
SKITTLES: Ok ise was hatchted on may 21 2005 an mine mommy birdy an daddy birdy is da same as yous an mine hooman mommy is da same as yous to an mine brudders an sissors is da same as yous to.
MICORA: What's it like living with a REAL Princess?
SKITTLES: Oh it wunderpul yous is da bestest princess in da werld (don't pay no tension to dis bb) how wuz dat mickey yous aint gonna swqesh mine pace no more is you?
MICORA: That was just fine, Skittles. (And I DO understand about true love.) So, your New Year's resolution was to color pictures of parrotlets on all the billboards - Do you have any idea how many billboards there are in the world???
SKITTLES: Well ise tinks maybee 6.
MICORA: Haw! Haw! Haw! (snort, snort) Haw! (holding belly and falling off perch backwards) Haw! Haw! You sure are a funny little guy! There are MILLIONS of billboards in the world!
SKITTLES: Uh oh!
MICORA: What are your plans for the future?
SKITTLES: Ise gonna snuggle wif bb foreber iffen hers will let me hers so bootiful an ise gonna twy to coler all dem billbords but ise dont tink ise neber gonna be abel to do dat neber eber.
WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, SKITTLES!
AND WE'LL CERTAINLY BE CHECKING OUR LOCAL BILLBOARDS FROM NOW ON!
(Return to "Past" Commandos of the Month Page Here)
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